if someone asks if youre wearing the same jeans as you wore yesterday and you are just say “have you ever heard of a washing machine” because they will think that you washed them but you are actually just assessing their knowledge of basic household appliances
*swipes debit card*
*purchase goes through*
me: God is good all the time
Cashier: all the time God is good
I don’t get how anyone could have a crush on me.
youre such a babe shh